It's almost 11:30pm here and I'm still up. I can't seem to get to sleep. I haven't been sleeping very well lately; I've been having nightmares and reaaaaaly weird dreams. The symptoms of depression seem to be creeping back up on me as well. I guess I'm about to hit a low. You may think this is a bad thing-and it is, but the positive is that I can recognize what's about to happen, so I can try to weather it. This is a very important point for me, as it will help me learn to cope with my illness in the best way positive. It's kind of like being on a sailboat at sea. You see a storm ahead, but instead of trying to go around it(because you can't...it's impossible) you go through it. Your safety relies on your navigational skills. You learn to roll with and occasionally fight with the waves. You learn to use a compass to determine which way to go. That's how I want it to be. That's how a "functioning depressed" person operates. This illness is something I'll have to deal with for my entire life. I may even have to be on medication for the rest of my life...that is something I'm finding hard to deal with.
I guess it's just nice to be able to write about and process how I feel. I'm hoping that this blog will help lead me to a road of recovery.
You know what I should do? I should post something that makes me happy at the end of each blog. Here goes:
Mekhi, 8 months old 4-4-10
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